Friday, September 11, 2009
Every moment, every minute, every second..
my heart is just full of miseries.
this pain inside me, can never be heal by anything or anyone
the scars that it was left behind was too great for me to handle.
looking back lets me down, but looking forward just make me want to kill myself
ending all this sadness and misery. Today was the day that breaks me down to my knees...
all this pain just make my tears rolls down on my face even while typing all this the tears just won't stop coming down. The day of forgiving and happiness is coming near. but it seems
it won't be the greatest day..ending my life is all that I can think of..my existence here has no meaning or purpose its just by-standing life that is taking space of the world.
"Heaven rejects beings like me, even the world of Hell doesn't accepts" even if die where would i go..?
I want answers to my questions, I want god to answer my prayers. I want to be accepted from this world before I past.That is my wish. After this post I declare that today is the beginning of my end.
11:18 PM Loved on; Y
I have always told myself that we were just friends.
but it seems the more i said to myself the more I have feelings for you...
when we first met, I tried to be friendly with you, and gain your trust.
I don't know if you think I had feelings for you at that time, but I did.
At the same time I had other mix feelings about you.
Its almost going to be a year that we know each other.
I had tried to go towards you for help~~~~~ but I just can't help myself from staring at you. I understand why you so uncomfortable around me, but can you give me a second chance..?
At first I was quite shocked that you were with 'him' but it made me realize that I just have to let it go and continue forward with this pain I bear around me.
No matter how much I tried to blend in, it seems that everytime I look back you start to just give me the look that says "I despise you". You may not know it but my laughter around you there's always sadness behind them.
I may look happy-go-lucky from the outside but I'm just a very sensitive person from the inside. I bet with all my hopes and happiness on that person, but it just always wants go to you..Never I have thought of having strong feelings for you. but it just did.. =(
12:00 AM Loved on; Y
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Yay... finally exams are over...
although I did flunk on my CN a bit seriously I was damn blur...
Well forget about it, I am so going to...actually I dun knw wat to do...hahahahas
Nakalicious brader...hahhaahah
Thursday going to have iftar The Lochness Braders(and Sisters).
Haiz... Its like going to be our last time seeing each other till Raya..Jalan Raya sama2 la sei...
Haiz... Thursday its going to be me, aslam, din, hafiz, minah wifout *1 i guess...
Actually I'm not quite sure if its confirm...
because birthday boyszzz said they want to celebrate their birthday wif their family...
Attachment I just hate it, I can't really work together with those people seriously.... except for some la....can coup but some no...
Tak sanggup sia next week...mcm nak buke sia....kejer petang lagi haiz....
Okay thats it for now...
Sorry if this blog its a veri...dead blog...
very lay to update...BYe.
11:48 AM Loved on; Y
11:48 AM Loved on; Y
